I quit smoking!

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Hey ya’ll! I got a notification saying it was my 5 year wordpress.com anniversary and it reminded me that I hadn’t blogged in a while.

I’ve honestly been pretty busy trying to keep my shit together. My holidays were amazing! I slept in almost every day, I didn’t know what day of the month it was let alone what day of the year, I wore pyjamas all day almost every day, I became one with the couch, I ate cheese and crackers way more times than I care to admit, I got asked if I was pregnant. “Nope, just fat” I replied, not even surprised. She is 6, so I let it slide.

I think the highlight of my break is that I quit smoking. I have 1 week and 4 days in and I’ve been keeping a daily journal just to jot down my symptoms, feelings, thoughts. I’ve found it easier than in the past though, I guess because I’m really ready this time. However, my journal would tell a different story lol I struggled with horrible withdrawal symptoms in the beginning so my journal is basically me whining every day about how awful it is. Even though at the time I was using the patch, I didn’t get any sleep, I was nauseated, cranky, and sweaty all the time. I’m not sure if it was a hormonal thing or withdrawal thing or a disgusting and inconvenient combination of both.

Since I ran out of the patch, I’ve been using regular gum and sometimes Nicorette. Usually regular gum unless I’m having a bad craving. When it’s the physical stim of holding a cigarette that I miss, I just grab a pen, pencil, paintbrush, or some other writing/art tool, and start doodling. I’ve drawn the alphabet multiple times in various styles. I’ve also painted the alphabet multiple times in various styles as well lol Somehow it helps.

I find the only symptom I am left with now is fatigue. I’ve been out of my medication for ADHD for a while and need my prescription renewed, so that might be part of it. But I am so flipping tired ALL THE TIME. I love sleep, I could sleep all day if I was allowed. Even as I’m writing this, it’s only 9AM, I am on my second coffee and I can barely keep my eyes open. So with that being said, I’m going to finish this coffee and snag a nap while I can still get away with it. Wish me luck!

Facebook Hiatus, Quitting Smoking, Wreck This Journal, and more!

So I’ll start off with the bad news and then counter it with some good news! The bad news is that I am leaving Facebook for an undetermined amount of time. Sorry to those hoping for some juicy gossip, there is no delicious reason why besides the fact that I want to take some time away from Facebook chaos to spend with my family while my husband is on Summer Leave. He will be home for 31 days and I want to make the best of it. Facebook tends to stress me out, I’d rather go outside and plant something than sit inside brooding over internet drama. So that’s what I’m going to do! That being said, I’ll probably return sooner than I plan but who knows. I am hoping to at least dedicate a few Facebook free weeks to my family and my house.

Now for some good news! I did quit smoking. It’s reeeeeally hard but I am trying my best to hang in there. When I think about it too much it bothers me so I am trying to push it from my mind most of the time. I really need to quit for my family, but mostly for myself. I want more years on this beautiful planet. I don’t want to shorten my life with something as silly as smoking. So I need to rally up all my will power and cut it out.

Finally, the most exciting part of my week! I am doing “wreck this journal” it’s a super fun, hilarious, creative, series by Keri Smith. She has done a few different versions of Wreck This Journal. I am hoping to try them all. So far I am having tons of fun with it. πŸ™‚ The concept is adorable and really forces you to step out of your comfort zone and just WRECK the journal. Like taking it with you in the shower, or rolling it down a hill, for example πŸ˜› Here are some of the pictures so far, I might continue posting them here but I’ll more than likely stick to posting them on Instagram.

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Nicotine and Yoga

Sunday morning was absolutely beautiful, the sun wasn’t out yet so it was cool and quiet. Daniel and I took Paisley for a walk to grab a coffee and breakfast and then we sat down at Hazen Park by the water dreaming about having a boat of our own. It was on the walk there that I had a smoke and realized how winded I felt. I had quit smoking for a year and a half and felt amazing, but foolishly started again. Now I remember why I was glad to quit, my body feels like it’s falling apart already. So I decided to quit (again). I’m not sure how or when, probably cold turkey, active immediately. I had 3 total yesterday so even cutting back until I’ve stopped completely seems like a better option than smoking full time. To avoid smoking I kept myself busy with cleaning anddddd YOGA!

I hadn’t practiced my Yoga asanas in a few months, I was seriously slacking. I feel like the last few months were just not the best for me health wise. I made a lot of silly choices but it’s time to get back on track. So I practiced my yoga and I felt fantastic afterwards. However, I noticed a little loss of flexibility since I had stopped practicing, it’s like starting all over again. I’m happy to be thinking clearly again. My room is cleaned up so I can use the space for whatever I feel like. Somehow physically decluttering my house, ends up decluttering my mind and my soul too. I might paint a bit tonight after practicing my Yoga, keeping busy is key! I’ll be posting more about my Yoga adventures because it will help me keep my mind off smoking if I really occupy myself with a healthy activity. So keep your eyes peeled!

Have a blessed day!

I cut my hair and other things.

I didn’t cut other things, just my hair, just to clarify. Looks alright, eh?
Screen Shot 2015-06-18 at 3.51.49 PMSo, life updates –
Biggies:
I cut my hair
I started smoking again
Am I going through a midlife crisis?
Idk.

Smallies:
I started drawing again?
????
?///?

I can’t believe I started smoking again. I seriously thought after a year and a half without a single puff, that I would never smoke again. But it’s funny how addiction works, one single cigarette and I went spiralling back into the habit, justifying it the whole way. I remembered it like I had never quit. But I have this fabulous best friend who bought me an e-cigarette, I’ll be trying that out as often as possible. I don’t want to be a smoker, I just need to get myself into the right mind-set to stop.

The hair cut was a completely spontaneous decision. I was like “wow my hair is really dry and dead and nothing seems to be working to help it!”. So I cut it. Simple as that. I put it in two pigtails as even as possible and chopped it. I actually love it, I feel free somehow. Sometimes it’s the smallest changes that have the biggest impact.

As for the small updates, I swear more interesting things have happened in my life but I can’t really think of any right now. I’m forever stuck with writer’s block these days. I actually am writing a book though, now that I think about it. It’s sort of a Sci-Fi post apocalyptic theme. Maybe I’ll post some teasers some time πŸ˜‰ For now I just write about a paragraph or two a day, and do a lot of sketching, like I mentioned. I have been drawing again! I sketched a picture of Lebron James for the hubby for Father’s Day and I have been practicing lips and mermaids. ^_^

Also, I’m going to try to use my tumblr and twitter more often, so follow me on those!
Twitter.com/chrasen
brachapai.tumblr.com