For a long time I thought that having children meant saying goodbye to your social life. I thought that was a sacrifice all good Moms made. I think I convinced myself of that because I was slowly submitting to my social anxiety and I wanted to justify it. However, using your children as an excuse for your lack of a social life is, in my opinion, synonymous with blaming them. My kids if anything, made me capable of being a better friend to someone. They taught me to be patient and embrace my silly side. They’ve taught me to be myself and love myself, I try every day to see myself through their eyes. It’s not always easy, but on the days that I do, I love myself beyond words. I discovered I connect better with other Moms because they understand how my life is prioritized. But now I am allowing myself to make friends without feeling guilty about it, I owe it to myself and to my children to be happy, because how can they learn to love themselves if they are raised by someone who can’t love herself? If you’re like I was and you find yourself with no friends, free yourself. Go out. Make friends. Even if it betrays your comfort, you will thank me.
Paisley is almost 7 months old now! I can’t believe she is already over 6 months old, but another thing I find hard to believe is that Daniel was away from work for that long. He returned today and it was my first time taking care of the three kids by myself since she’s been here! I actually find myself more motivated when he’s gone because I want him to come home to a relaxing environment so we can all make the best of the time we have together. When he was on paternity leave he was so incredibly helpful, but I was so incredibly spoiled and lazy because of it! Now I am getting back into the “stay at home Mom” groove. Cleaning, feeding and bathing the spawns, activities, and playing with them. I actually feel great about it and I was more than ready to begin transitioning into a new routine.
We’ve made some drastic changes to our diets (Dan and I) because our eating habits were terrible to say the least. So our last haul of groceries was quite different than the usual but it’s been great so far. I only miss my Timmies. I’ve been focusing a lot on my artwork still, trying various types. I’m doing an “art every week” for 52 weeks challenge and haven’t missed a week yet. 😀 (I’m working on week 12 this week!)
All in all, despite my lack of updates, I feel like this has been the best 6 months of my entire life. I feel like my family is complete. We are all content, growing, and learning every single day and I don’t want to miss a second of it. I am sitting now with a home full of sleeping kids, the boys in their beds, Paisley in my lap, and only the ticking of the clock and the clicking of the keys for sound. The quiet is beautiful, but I look forward to the chaos of tomorrow, as I do everyday.
In light of the never ending Mommy wars between formula feeding and breast feeding mommies, I decided to write a little entry shining some positive light on both options. I formula fed my two sons and I am exclusively breast feeding my daughter as we speak. So I am a self-proclaimed expert on both, hear me out! I have two amazing, healthy little boys who were formula fed. Braden is as smart as a whip and Chase certainly is not starving 😉 It’s safe to say the stuff people will try to force down your throat may not always be accurate. Then there’s Paisley, my first breastfed baby, she is growing beautifully and it’s so wonderful to know my body is sustaining her. It’s truly amazing. I can’t begin to tell you how tired I am of seeing women argue over this or try to force feed their beliefs onto other women. (pun absolutely intended)
So, without further rambling, ranting, and raving, here are some reasons you should try both!
Pros of formula feeding:
When you formula feed, you can conveniently hand off your little sprout to other family members if you like, during feeding times. Not only does this open up Mom’s free time, but it gives other people a chance to bond with the baby. That’s not to say that feeding the baby is the only method of bonding, but it certainly is a common one!
Preparing your babies formula gives you the option of leaving your baby in the care of a babysitter, spouse, friend, or relative, if you want or need to! Some women really value that freedom and if you’re that kind of woman, you should strongly consider formula feeding.
3. Feeding times are longer between!
We know that formula is a little more difficult for our little one’s to digest, but with that comes slower digestion, which means more time between feedings. That gives you the “me-time” you’ve been needing! Take that time to bath in peace and quiet, or grab something to eat. Lord knows it’s hard to find the time to do those simple tasks with a little one depending on you.
Because your body is not sustaining the little sprout, you are able to eat/drink whatever you want! While health is important, some of us like to binge a little (or a lot!). When you formula feed, you have the freedom to eat or whatever you want without worrying about the affect it might have on your baby. This includes coffee, alcoholic beverages, or foods they may have an allergy to.
Perks of breastfeeding:
1. It’s FREE!
Who doesn’t love free stuff?! You can actually sustain an effing human being for free using your boobs! How wonderful is that? Formula can get pretty pricey and if you’re a scrooge like me, free is definitely the way to go.
Just knowing that by some miracle your body is producing everything your little one needs to thrive and grow every day, is enough to blow your mind, isn’t it? It’s beautiful and that time you spend with your baby is beautiful too! Your baby will know your smell and the sound of your heart beating. There’s nothing more special than that!
3. Nursing burns calories!
Yep, forget fretting about your weight, nursing your baby will actually burn calories AND cause your uterus to contract and shrink. Getting back to your pre-pregnancy weight will be almost effortless!
4. Natural vitamins and antibodies!
Nursing your baby is not only good for your body, but it is very good for your baby too. Your body made this milk especially for your baby and it contains lots of vitamins and minerals that you may not be able to find in formula. Plus, in the beginning you produce colostrum, which is really great for baby as it contains antibodies that cannot be duplicated by a factory.
There you have it, there are perks to both options! Don’t let anyone try to dictate how you feed your baby, either choice is a great choice and your choice to make.
One of my biggest pet peeves has to be when people find out I am 23 and have three kids, then immediately following, I watch them scramble to scrape their judgmental jaw off the floor. I can’t even keep track of all the instances I have heard people say “Oh wow, that’s really rough.” or “I’m so sorry, that must be really hard.”… Let me get this straight, you are apologizing to me, for me having children? There was a time where having a big family was perfectly socially acceptable; sometime between then and now, it changed. I have been called crazy, stupid, and even white trash, for choosing to raise children over any other options I was given. Since when was being a parent a bad thing?
I made three beautiful little humans and I don’t regret a single one of them. People always ask me why I didn’t use protection after the first time (nevermind how absolutely rude that is) and I am always so confused as to why they would think I didn’t want multiple children. Our first may not have been planned, our second was a “if it happens it happens” baby, and our third was planned so precisely that I micro-managed our sex life. But I can say with 100% sincerity that I do not regret any of them and each of them were definitely wanted.
My kids are the best decision I ever made. You know how some people are good at shit like singing, painting, playing instruments, or sports? I am good at being a Mom. I am reeeeeally good at it. Despite the fact that people express absolute shock over me being a young Mom with three kids, I also get compliments in abundance on how wonderful, polite, and just all around great, my kids are. That’s because of my husband and I, WE DID THAT. I am 23 years old and I am raising three amazing little humans. Some day they will grow up and I will encourage them to make their own choices about their lives. If my daughter tells me she wants to be a Mom, she can be a Mom. If my sons tell me they want to be Dads, they can be Dads. If they don’t want kids, I’m not going to pressure them! They can have as many children as they and their future spouse desire because ultimately it’s not up to me or anyone else to dictate that. Big families can be wonderfully rewarding and I would love for them to experience that, but if that’s not what they want, I’m cool with that. Because it’s none of my business.
So if you’re that person, the one that feels sorry for young Moms or Dads with multiple children, please think before you say something stupid. Just stop and think to yourself, “You know, maybe lots of kids aren’t for me, but perhaps this parent loves their lifestyle”. Instead of making a backhanded compliment, straight up compliment them or say nothing at all. Because at the end of the day, maybe being a parent is just what that person is good at and they love the shit out of it.