The Scribbler lives!

So it’s been a hot minute since I’ve really updated my blog, minus a few random ramblings here and there and if I’m being honest, I really miss blogging! I’ve had a pretty crazy year so far and I have so much to fill everyone in on but I’m going to do it in bits and pieces because it’s going to take some time. Off the top of my head I can tell you I went to Europe, my kids are growing and doing all kinds of cool and funny shit, I went back on medication for my ADHD for the first time since I was like 17-18, I was diagnosed with a gross thing called Endometriosis, I mean this year has been something else!

The most important thing is I’m back and I renewed my domain with a new fresh name! I was going by The Super Scribbler under the domain katlynblair.com because thescribbler.ca was unavailable back then. LOW AND BEHOLD! It’s available now, I snagged it, it’s miiiiine.

*Cuts Ribbon*

Welcome to the new and improved blog, hold onto your panties ya’ll, I’m back!

When you visit our home..

I WROTE THIS A YEAR AGO?! My how time has flown and how nothing has changed. If anything my house is even more chaotic now that Paisley is mobile. 😀

the scribbler

When you open up the door to our home, you’ll likely have to give a little extra shove to get it open. That’s because the doorway is a plethora of shoes for every season, just kicked off in a hurry as we got home. After being away all day or for the night, nothing feels better than coming home.

Once you step inside, if you look straight ahead there’s a wall with a painted picture on a slab of wood that says “Home Sweet Home” with a little red cottage on it, and a sweet home it truly is. To your left you’ll see a fairly vacant hallway, vacant aside from the little white and green potty that sits directly across from the bathroom. We’re potty training a toddler, so forgive us if it seems a little bit of an odd place for a potty. Down that hall you will also…

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Think and wonder, wonder and think.

Last night I walked sweaty palmed and red faced into a room full of strangers, half of which looked as nervous as I was. Some looked scared, some were sweating, others had hands that couldn’t stop shaking, while some seemed confident, bored, or just over it. The Kindergarten teacher greeted us all at the door as we entered and directed us to little tiny desks with our childrens’ names on them. I found “Braden” right at the front of the class. I immediately wondered if this would always be his spot or if it was random just for the Open House. I looked around the room and saw little everything. Little chairs, little tables, little bookshelves. Fit for a five year old. Fit for Braden. I sat there trying to pay attention to the information his teacher was giving the parents but my brain was melting. My little baby, my first born, would be sitting in this classroom in a week. Without me! Learning to read, write, make friends, and heaps of other things I was unable to teach him myself. I was so overwhelmed I had to keep reminding myself to stop shaking. When she said we could leave, I was the first one out the door, maybe even the building. I fled like a bat out of hell. My anxiety coupled with the fact that my son was starting school had me an absolute wreck. I know he is ready and I am so, so, proud of him. But it’s so hard for me to let him go. People keep telling me “that’s life.”, “he’ll be fine!”, “every kid goes to school, you’re not the only one feeling this way”, and while they are ALL right, that does not make it any easier. I have so many worries and concerns. Did I teach him enough? Did I prepare him enough? What if he gets bullied? What if he loses sight of who he is? I guess these are things we all ask ourselves.

After a nearly sleepless night, I woke up feeling reassured. He will be fine. I have to have faith that Daniel and I taught him enough to prepare him for this next step in his journey. Braden, if by chance you can read this within the next few years, I want you to know that no matter how much I might cry next week, it’s not because school is scary, it’s because watching you grow up is scary. I know some day you will shy away from my hugs, or make me drop you off around the corner, and that’s okay. As long as you let me cry on this day.

Dr-Seuss-Quotes (1)

katlynblair.com lives!

I have always wanted my own domain and guess what, I have one now! Instead of typing a hot-mess of words into your url bar, you can now simply search katlynblair.com to visit my website! YAY! I have to edit my banner and all that fun stuff now because the link has changed but ahh! *dances*

What kind of Mother will you be when your children are adults?

They are grown, they are independent, they may live on their own, marry, have their own children. So naturally your relationship with your kids will change and your role in their life will change. The fact is, they still need us as adults, but in a different way. Below are a list of things I vow to my children as adults, in regards to the Mother I will be then. (Keep in mind these are written from recent personal experience and may not relate to anyone in your life, but still are things that matter!)

1) My Children owe me nothing.
My children did not ask to be brought into this world and they did not ask to be raised by me or anyone for that matter. I am the one who chose to clothe and feed them and spend money on them during their life thus far. I vow to never make my children feel like they owe me anything. I’ll never use the line “I clothed and fed you for x amount of years!” or “Think of all the money I have spent on you in your life time and you can’t do this one thing for me!?” or “After all I have done for you growing up!” Your children do not OWE you anything. I’m not saying acknowledgement and gratitude is bad. I’m saying this should never be used as a tool to guilt, manipulate, or shame your children to get your own way.

2) I will let them move on.
If my sons become husbands some day. I will let them put that woman/man before me without guilting them or acting like I am entitled to more affection than their partner just because I am their Mother. My son chose that person to spend the rest of his life with and I will respect that because I love my children unconditionally. I can take pride in knowing I raised them to make their partner their priority.

3) I will not be jealous of in-laws.
From my experience, it’s quite common for a daughter to remain close to their Mother in their adult years while her husband might not be as close to his own Mother. He might lean towards his wife’s family a bit more because his wife is #1 to him, and that is a good thing. I will just hope that family loves and respects him and embraces him as a true family member. My Grandma always told me this old saying which I have found to be incredibly accurate in my life: “A son is a son ’til he takes him a wife. A daughters a daughter the rest of her life.”

4) My children will always be my priority.
This is one thing that applies now and forever. My children will always, always, come before myself. Their needs will come before my own because I love than more than I love myself. If I am down to my last dollar and one of my sons is in need, I will give it to him. I will always drop everything to be there for them when they need me because ultimately we should never stop being a Mom to them just because they are adults.

5) I will respect them.
I will treat my sons not as children, but as adult equals. I will respect them, their home, their spouse, their children, and any decisions they make as long as it’s not extremely harmful to them. If I know something will hurt them, I won’t do it out of respect for them. Parents do not automatically earn respect just because we gave birth to them. Again it goes back to them not owing us anything. I will respect my children in every way so that they might respect me back.

6) I will not over step my boundaries.
If I have advice to offer, I will only offer it where it’s wanted. I won’t step on toes to get the results I want. Whether that’s regarding their love life, or even how they raise their own children. I need to let them make their own decisions and sometimes that will mean they learn the hard way, but I’ll rest easy knowing I let them make their own choices and their own mistakes.

7) I will celebrate their accomplishments.
I will not miss anything (Unless I shit the bucket and die of course lol). Birthdays, Christmas, Thanksgiving, promotion at work, birth of a child, baby shower, wedding, engagements, new occupation/career paths, or just anything my child is proud of. I will always celebrate with them so that they know I care about things that make them happy and that I am always going to be proud of them.

8) I will make sure that they know they are loved.
I never want my children to question my love for them. If I died tomorrow, I’d want them to know how much they mean to me, so I vow to always show them, not just through words, but actions. I don’t want to leave even a slight trace of doubt in their minds about this.

9) I will respect their space.
As much as I want them to know I love them and to be involved in their lives. I also want them to know that their privacy is safe and I will not stick my foot in the door if they try to close it. I won’t suffocate them or harass them with phone calls every day to see if they’re still alive. I won’t guilt them for not coming to see me often if they can’t, because that’s their decision, which I will respect, as stated above. Also sometimes you just CAN’T see people as much as you’d like to, have you seen gas prices? Shiiiit.

10) I will encourage them to put their family first.
By family.. I mean their partner, children, their brothers/sisters. Basically anyone but myself. I think it’s very important for my two sons to remain close and always be there for each other. Be kind to one another, be good uncles and fathers, and stick together through thick and thin. Put each other, and their family (wife/husband, kids) before people like myself who cannot be there 24/7.

That all being said, these are things I just personally hold close to me through my own experiences as a wife and how I wish people in my life would treat their children. Maybe these will hit home for you, maybe they won’t. But I hope either way anyone reading can take something from this and possibly apply it to their own life somehow.