I quit smoking!

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Hey ya’ll! I got a notification saying it was my 5 year wordpress.com anniversary and it reminded me that I hadn’t blogged in a while.

I’ve honestly been pretty busy trying to keep my shit together. My holidays were amazing! I slept in almost every day, I didn’t know what day of the month it was let alone what day of the year, I wore pyjamas all day almost every day, I became one with the couch, I ate cheese and crackers way more times than I care to admit, I got asked if I was pregnant. “Nope, just fat” I replied, not even surprised. She is 6, so I let it slide.

I think the highlight of my break is that I quit smoking. I have 1 week and 4 days in and I’ve been keeping a daily journal just to jot down my symptoms, feelings, thoughts. I’ve found it easier than in the past though, I guess because I’m really ready this time. However, my journal would tell a different story lol I struggled with horrible withdrawal symptoms in the beginning so my journal is basically me whining every day about how awful it is. Even though at the time I was using the patch, I didn’t get any sleep, I was nauseated, cranky, and sweaty all the time. I’m not sure if it was a hormonal thing or withdrawal thing or a disgusting and inconvenient combination of both.

Since I ran out of the patch, I’ve been using regular gum and sometimes Nicorette. Usually regular gum unless I’m having a bad craving. When it’s the physical stim of holding a cigarette that I miss, I just grab a pen, pencil, paintbrush, or some other writing/art tool, and start doodling. I’ve drawn the alphabet multiple times in various styles. I’ve also painted the alphabet multiple times in various styles as well lol Somehow it helps.

I find the only symptom I am left with now is fatigue. I’ve been out of my medication for ADHD for a while and need my prescription renewed, so that might be part of it. But I am so flipping tired ALL THE TIME. I love sleep, I could sleep all day if I was allowed. Even as I’m writing this, it’s only 9AM, I am on my second coffee and I can barely keep my eyes open. So with that being said, I’m going to finish this coffee and snag a nap while I can still get away with it. Wish me luck!

Come at me 2018!

Well folks, another year has come and gone and I can’t say I’m sad to see it go. When I reflect on 2017 there’s little I recall fondly. My personal life wasn’t terrible but the world as a whole was hurting and as an empath, I spent a lot of my time feeling sad on the behalf of others. I did get to experience some personal growth and challenged myself to do new and intimidating things. I did so with success. I flew across the ocean with my best friend and visited two countries on a completely different continent from my own. Beautiful England and lively Ireland. I would definitely say this trip was the highlight of my 2017. I got to meet my best online friend Emily after years and years, and we spent a few days with her at her quaint little flat in London. The culture and vibe in both London and Dublin was intoxicating, I can see why they’re such favourable tourist destinations. I can’t wait to go back, preferably with my partner in tow. He’d absolutely love Ireland, especially since so much of our ancestry originated there.

My year was filled with lessons and some I learned and some I undoubtedly missed. New year’s day was the first Full Moon of the year and it was also a super moon (at one point it had a rainbow around it). I went to my cousin’s to spend the evening reflecting on our past year together. We burned candles, incense, and smudged sage. We did a Year ahead Tarot spread each, we did tea readings, we discussed our goals moving into the new year. We made little brooms with bells and anointed the gifts we exchanged by smudging them, rubbing them with Frankincense oil, and putting them in the full super moon. She made a herb blend to burn while focusing her intent on the year ahead while I made an oil blend. Then in true “us” fashion we snuggled up in bed and laughed at memes. Here are a few photos from our night!

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Finally, my “resolutions”. I’m on day 2 of not smoking in the new year, it’s an ambitious goal but I really want to quit and I hope if I really really want to quit, that will be enough to keep me away from it.

Besides that I just wish to learn as much as possible in the new year. Be more positive, work on my skills and hobbies, and indulge in the things I enjoy.

Happy New Year everyone!


Biting the bullet

Since the last time I updated this blog so much has happened. As far as my ADHD goes, it’s been extremely tough, to say the least. I have been struggling to manage it on my own, all my apps and resources slowly began to go unused, I sold my FitBit, and I sank into a […]

via Biting the bullet — Chatty Katie

I wrote up a new article on Chatty Katie! I debated posting it here instead but in the name of organization I went ahead and put it where it belongs and shared it here instead. Hope this helps anyone else struggling with ADHD and debating going on medication!

The Scribbler lives!

So it’s been a hot minute since I’ve really updated my blog, minus a few random ramblings here and there and if I’m being honest, I really miss blogging! I’ve had a pretty crazy year so far and I have so much to fill everyone in on but I’m going to do it in bits and pieces because it’s going to take some time. Off the top of my head I can tell you I went to Europe, my kids are growing and doing all kinds of cool and funny shit, I went back on medication for my ADHD for the first time since I was like 17-18, I was diagnosed with a gross thing called Endometriosis, I mean this year has been something else!

The most important thing is I’m back and I renewed my domain with a new fresh name! I was going by The Super Scribbler under the domain katlynblair.com because thescribbler.ca was unavailable back then. LOW AND BEHOLD! It’s available now, I snagged it, it’s miiiiine.

*Cuts Ribbon*

Welcome to the new and improved blog, hold onto your panties ya’ll, I’m back!

Changes on The Horizon

I’ve taken a position on the forum I’ve worked for since 2013 which will be pretty time consuming but I am looking forward to helping the site progress. I know not everyone in the community will be pleased about the decision to promote me but in terms of longevity and experience I was the most reasonable option and I certainly wasn’t going to reject the opportunity to help. I look at this site like my baby and they say it takes a village to raise a child, so I am hoping I will have enough support from my staff team and the community that we can make a big difference! Though, I’m hoping my best friend who has been working for the site since 2014, will be promoted to the same position eventually/someday too. I feel like as a team we are much more motivated, effective, and have the ability to get things done FASTER, since we’d be sharing the workload.

Aside from those changes I’ve challenged myself to do more reading, writing, and art. Just things that are mentally stimulating and gratifying for me. So I’ve read two books and am halfway through my third, since January 6th. I’ve started writing some fanfiction because why not, and I’ve been messing around with Adobe Illustrator on my ipad! It’s going to be a really long Winter so doing these things is really keeping me sane.

They say your frontal lobe isn’t fully developed until you’re 25 and guess what? I’m going to be 25 in March! Happy Birthday (and fully developed frontal lobe!) to me! I’m low-key hoping Hubby buys me a new kindle since the one I have doesn’t have a built in light, making night time reading impossible.

Have a good Monday folks! 🙂

Facebook – You’re disappointing me.

Racism is racism, no matter how you try to justify it. Intolerance and bigotry can’t be justified. There’s NO REASON FOR IT. Don’t call yourself a Christian while you label 1.6billion people as terrorists because they have some evil people within their religion, just like every other religion, race, and country has.
KKK – Christian Group.
Aurora Shooting – White male
Sandy Hook shooting – White male
Moncton Shooting – White male

These were acts of domestic terrorism and what do you know, they were not committed by a Muslim. Better yet, they were committed by WHITE PEOPLE. Muslims do not own the monopoly on terrorism. Just as Muslim extremists do not represent the entire religion, the white people listed above do not represent the entire white population. The KKK does not represent Christianity. These 25,000 refugees were driven out of their homes by the same people committing these atrocities in Paris, Syria, Lebanon. They do not have the resources to fight these terrorists. Contrary to what people seem to think, we do. We have a Military that is trained to deal with these situations. We have allies across the globe with militaries trained to deal with these situations. Stop believing the selfish, fear mongering, bullshit and start believing in compassion, love, and humanity. I’m honestly appalled at some of the stuff I am seeing on my Facebook. If you people really believe half the shit you’re sharing you need to educate yourselves a lot better. This is not what Canada is about. What if it were you and your family? Do you honestly believe if these people (the refugees) posed a major threat to national security we’d be letting them in? Use your heads.

Think and wonder, wonder and think.

Last night I walked sweaty palmed and red faced into a room full of strangers, half of which looked as nervous as I was. Some looked scared, some were sweating, others had hands that couldn’t stop shaking, while some seemed confident, bored, or just over it. The Kindergarten teacher greeted us all at the door as we entered and directed us to little tiny desks with our childrens’ names on them. I found “Braden” right at the front of the class. I immediately wondered if this would always be his spot or if it was random just for the Open House. I looked around the room and saw little everything. Little chairs, little tables, little bookshelves. Fit for a five year old. Fit for Braden. I sat there trying to pay attention to the information his teacher was giving the parents but my brain was melting. My little baby, my first born, would be sitting in this classroom in a week. Without me! Learning to read, write, make friends, and heaps of other things I was unable to teach him myself. I was so overwhelmed I had to keep reminding myself to stop shaking. When she said we could leave, I was the first one out the door, maybe even the building. I fled like a bat out of hell. My anxiety coupled with the fact that my son was starting school had me an absolute wreck. I know he is ready and I am so, so, proud of him. But it’s so hard for me to let him go. People keep telling me “that’s life.”, “he’ll be fine!”, “every kid goes to school, you’re not the only one feeling this way”, and while they are ALL right, that does not make it any easier. I have so many worries and concerns. Did I teach him enough? Did I prepare him enough? What if he gets bullied? What if he loses sight of who he is? I guess these are things we all ask ourselves.

After a nearly sleepless night, I woke up feeling reassured. He will be fine. I have to have faith that Daniel and I taught him enough to prepare him for this next step in his journey. Braden, if by chance you can read this within the next few years, I want you to know that no matter how much I might cry next week, it’s not because school is scary, it’s because watching you grow up is scary. I know some day you will shy away from my hugs, or make me drop you off around the corner, and that’s okay. As long as you let me cry on this day.

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